I have been trying to work on me for a while. This is a pretty broad area to explore, considering my problems range from spending too much time on Netflix, commitment, and eating the center of food and toppings off of pizza before putting the rest back in the fridge. I’m not working on the food part though. It’s part of my charm.
Some of the interpersonal things, which I am focusing on, mean working on them with people. Working on social anxiety requires me to be socially anxious around people. Dealing with commitment issues means that I have commitment issues in relationships. Which is where I’ve stumbled onto this idea of practice people.
I don’t think that it’s a necessarily good concept. I’m not campaigning for people to go out and find guinea pigs, but it is a reality. Recently, I told current boyfriend to tell me if I’m ever a normal girlfriend, so I can work to fix that. But it made me think about the last boyfriend, and how he definitely would have called me a normal girlfriend. Which I was. Part of me wants to text him and apologize for using him to become better at relationships. But sometimes, things take practice. And that means practice people.
Now I’m curious about all the other practice people in my life. I’m sure there are tons that I’m not thinking of. I know that you could argue that everyone is a practice person because we’re constantly evolving, blah, blah, blah. But that’s not what I’m talking about. I want the concrete examples of “this is how I specifically grew from one person to the next and this is how they helped me to do so.” Not that them helping is something they are aware of. But you learn what works and what doesn’t and what you want to search for next time.
Basically, I’m grateful and also a little bit guilty for all my practice people, while also realizing that there will be always be more.